To quickly sum up my year.....Joe died, Dylan broke his thumb, Courtlyn almost died during childbirth, my blood pressure got so high I had to call 911, Courtlyn had meningitis, we had a car accident, and now to top things off Camryn has a broke arm.
She was pushed off a slide at school today. She wasn't pushed down the slide....she was pushed off the top of the slide, straight to the ground. And the slide was approximately 10 feet high. As soon as I picked her up from school we headed to the ER. Her nose was bleeding, her legs hurt so bad the teacher said she could barely walk, her face is all scratched up and bruised, and her arm is broke in two places. She's in a temporary cast right now and we have to go to an orthopedic specialist sometime this week for a permanent one. One of the breaks is called a "greenstick fracture" which means it didn't break all the was through the bone. This will probably require that the doctor break her arm to make it go all the way through the bone. The thought of her going through this makes me want to throw up.
I can not believe she fell 10 feet. I asked her if she was scared while she was falling and she said "momma, I was wishing I had a a parachute" I have not been able to get the image out of my head of her falling.
In all reality I know that I should be thankful that its just a broken arm. It could have been much, much worse.....she could have easliy broke her back or her neck. But right now the broke arm seems bad enough. She has cried nonstop, either because its hurting or because she missed her soccer game, or because she can't do cartwheels, or because she can't draw or write now. Thats the thing that upsets her the most right now. Anyone that knows Camryn knows that all she does is sit at our table and draw....ALL day. Thats all she's done since the day I told her Joe died. And now, with a cast on her right arm, she can't. She honestly doesn't know what to do.
When we were at the hospital she needed to go to the bathroom, and she couldn't get on the potty by herself with her arm hurting so bad. So I had to pick her up and set her on it. Thats when it hit me....the one independent child I have now needs me to do things for her as well. She's the one who helps me carry everything to the car when we leave, she's the one who helps me take care of the other two. What the hell am I going to do now?
So, when you start moping around thinking your life is so bad, just think about mine. Trust me, I would love it if all I had to worry about was some crappy job, or a lazy husband.
I have had numerous people today make comments about if something's going to happen its going to happen to us. And that seems to be very true lately. It has never been like this before, we always lived a pretty uncomplicated life....no drama. But since the day Joe died it seems to have been falling apart nonstop. I talked to a friend tonight on the phone and she told me she prays for me all the time. I couldn't help but respond by telling her "well, its not working....can you pray a little harder?"
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
September 28, 2007
Today I picked Camryn up from school at 12:00 just like every other day. We went to the office to see if her absensce will be excused next week for the sentencing hearing. It will. Of course as soon as I told the office ladies the story I received those blank stares of sympathy that I'm starting to get used.
We left school and headed for the park, going in the opposite direction we go every other day. Its the first time we've gone to this particular park and I was surprising Camryn. I had packed lunches and brought her a change of clothes/shoes without her knowing. As I'm slowing down to turn onto the road leading into the park. Camryn realizes that we're not going home....and that we're going to the park. About the time she starts yelling with excitement, I hear a crash and we go barrelling over a huge curb and are heading down a hill. I jerk the steering wheel back, go back over the curb, which made me lose control of the car. At that point the car jerked into the other curb. Camryn and Courtlyn were screaming hysterically. I stopped the car and jumped out to check on Camryn. She said she hit her head, but I was able to calm her down. Courtlyn on the other hand was still hysterical. So I got back in the car, shaking so bad I could hardly drive, and slowly drove down the road to the parking lot of the park. Camryn and Dylan were OK at that point and were ready to jump out and go play. Courtlyn was still crying though and I was freaking the hell out. I had absolutely NO idea what had happened. So I made the kids stay in the car while I got out to look at the car. I assumed that I would have a flat tire because of the way I went over the curb. No flat tire though. Then as I went around to check the other tire, I looked up and noticed that my rear end was no longer attached to the frame, and there were numerous dents and scratches. At that point I was really freaking out. I had no idea what to do. What was I going to say if I called someone. How stupid and incompetent would I sound when I told someone I don't know what happened....I just hit a curb and destroyed my whole rear end. As I'm sitting in the parking lot starting to panic and cry right along with Courtlyn, my phone rings. It was Mr. Gary from church. He asks what we're doing and I tell him I think I've just wrecked my car, but don't know how. He happened to only be about 2 minutes away, so he came right there. He took one look at the car and told me that someone had to have hit me. I was still looking to blame myself, so I was asking him if maybe I could have hit the stop sign when I lost control of the car, and thats what caused the damage. He was convinced though that someone hit me. About that time a lady drives up and says she saw the car who hit me. I could not believe it! She said she saw the whole thing and that just as I was starting to turn this car tried to swerve around me and hit me, pushing me into the curb....which explains why I lost control so badly. She followed the car that hit me and wrote down the license number. So I called the police. About an hour later as the cop was finishing up the paperwork, there was a call from the person who hit me.....reporting an accident. So the cop left to go see what their story was. Thats the last I heard. I guess next week I'll know more.
I just can't get over the fact that someone would hit us like that and drive off. I had three babies in the car that could have been seriously hurt, and this person just slams into us and leaves! It makes me sick everytime I think about it.
When we left the park Camryn said she was scared someone was going to hit us again. Then when she heard me tell someone we were in a "car accident" she freaked out because she relates that to Joe dying. Tonight as were laying in bed, we were talking about it and I was asking her if it scared her, and how lucky we were that we were all buckled in, etc. She said "ya know momma, it would have been OK if we had died, because we would get to see daddy, and Luigi, and Rags (my childhood pets). I just nodded and then she went to sleep. What I really wanted to do was scream at her "NO CAMRYN, IT IS NOT OK IF YOU DIE! I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT LOSE ONE OF MY BABIES! YOU HAVE GOT TO QUIT TALKING ABOUT DYING. YOU AND DYLAN AND COURTLYN CAN NOT LEAVE ME.....EVER!" Thats the reason I decided to keep my mouth shut, just smile and nod my head. Because I knew if I opened my mouth I would say something that would scare her to death.
That was our day. So now on top of everything else I have to do (go to the social security office, apply for WIC, write an impact statement, go to Tyler to read the statement, and MUCH, MUCH more) now I have to deal with more insurance companies, more claims, get the van fixed, etc. How much can one person possibly handle?
I am seriously reaching my breaking point here.
We left school and headed for the park, going in the opposite direction we go every other day. Its the first time we've gone to this particular park and I was surprising Camryn. I had packed lunches and brought her a change of clothes/shoes without her knowing. As I'm slowing down to turn onto the road leading into the park. Camryn realizes that we're not going home....and that we're going to the park. About the time she starts yelling with excitement, I hear a crash and we go barrelling over a huge curb and are heading down a hill. I jerk the steering wheel back, go back over the curb, which made me lose control of the car. At that point the car jerked into the other curb. Camryn and Courtlyn were screaming hysterically. I stopped the car and jumped out to check on Camryn. She said she hit her head, but I was able to calm her down. Courtlyn on the other hand was still hysterical. So I got back in the car, shaking so bad I could hardly drive, and slowly drove down the road to the parking lot of the park. Camryn and Dylan were OK at that point and were ready to jump out and go play. Courtlyn was still crying though and I was freaking the hell out. I had absolutely NO idea what had happened. So I made the kids stay in the car while I got out to look at the car. I assumed that I would have a flat tire because of the way I went over the curb. No flat tire though. Then as I went around to check the other tire, I looked up and noticed that my rear end was no longer attached to the frame, and there were numerous dents and scratches. At that point I was really freaking out. I had no idea what to do. What was I going to say if I called someone. How stupid and incompetent would I sound when I told someone I don't know what happened....I just hit a curb and destroyed my whole rear end. As I'm sitting in the parking lot starting to panic and cry right along with Courtlyn, my phone rings. It was Mr. Gary from church. He asks what we're doing and I tell him I think I've just wrecked my car, but don't know how. He happened to only be about 2 minutes away, so he came right there. He took one look at the car and told me that someone had to have hit me. I was still looking to blame myself, so I was asking him if maybe I could have hit the stop sign when I lost control of the car, and thats what caused the damage. He was convinced though that someone hit me. About that time a lady drives up and says she saw the car who hit me. I could not believe it! She said she saw the whole thing and that just as I was starting to turn this car tried to swerve around me and hit me, pushing me into the curb....which explains why I lost control so badly. She followed the car that hit me and wrote down the license number. So I called the police. About an hour later as the cop was finishing up the paperwork, there was a call from the person who hit me.....reporting an accident. So the cop left to go see what their story was. Thats the last I heard. I guess next week I'll know more.
I just can't get over the fact that someone would hit us like that and drive off. I had three babies in the car that could have been seriously hurt, and this person just slams into us and leaves! It makes me sick everytime I think about it.
When we left the park Camryn said she was scared someone was going to hit us again. Then when she heard me tell someone we were in a "car accident" she freaked out because she relates that to Joe dying. Tonight as were laying in bed, we were talking about it and I was asking her if it scared her, and how lucky we were that we were all buckled in, etc. She said "ya know momma, it would have been OK if we had died, because we would get to see daddy, and Luigi, and Rags (my childhood pets). I just nodded and then she went to sleep. What I really wanted to do was scream at her "NO CAMRYN, IT IS NOT OK IF YOU DIE! I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT LOSE ONE OF MY BABIES! YOU HAVE GOT TO QUIT TALKING ABOUT DYING. YOU AND DYLAN AND COURTLYN CAN NOT LEAVE ME.....EVER!" Thats the reason I decided to keep my mouth shut, just smile and nod my head. Because I knew if I opened my mouth I would say something that would scare her to death.
That was our day. So now on top of everything else I have to do (go to the social security office, apply for WIC, write an impact statement, go to Tyler to read the statement, and MUCH, MUCH more) now I have to deal with more insurance companies, more claims, get the van fixed, etc. How much can one person possibly handle?
I am seriously reaching my breaking point here.
September 25, 2007
I think we're all starting to get better around here. Camryn had strep, Dylan had some other sort of throat infection, I had a sinus infection, and last Thursday along with her lingering cough, Courtlyn started oozing bright green discharge from her eyes. And she has thrush. We have been to the doctor 4 times in the past three weeks! But I guess thats what I pay $700 a month in insurance for.
Camryn had her first soccer game Monday night. While everyone else on the field chased and kicked the ball, Camryn did cartwheels in the middle of the field....but regardless, she had fun.
Courtlyn had her 4 month old well baby checkup today. She weighs 15 pounds, 10 ounces and is 24 inches long. And remember she was only 5 pounds, 13 ounces and 18 inches when she was born! She got three shots and screamed bloody murder, while Dylan hid in the corner because he didn't want to see them hurt her.
Today we went to dance class. Afterward I took them to eat pizza. During the hour we were there I don't think I sat down one time. I ate pizza while walking around the table monitoring everyone.....I had a flashback to my days as a teacher. We had three trips to the bathroom, 2 trips to refill drinks, one homework assignment to complete and check, 2 instances of an escaped toddler, one poopy diaper (and no changing table in the restroom), one poked eye (from an unruly umbrella), and one pair of torn pink ballet tights....but most importantly, two smiling faces covered in pizza sauce that gave me a hug and said "thank you momma!"
Camryn had her first soccer game Monday night. While everyone else on the field chased and kicked the ball, Camryn did cartwheels in the middle of the field....but regardless, she had fun.
Courtlyn had her 4 month old well baby checkup today. She weighs 15 pounds, 10 ounces and is 24 inches long. And remember she was only 5 pounds, 13 ounces and 18 inches when she was born! She got three shots and screamed bloody murder, while Dylan hid in the corner because he didn't want to see them hurt her.
Today we went to dance class. Afterward I took them to eat pizza. During the hour we were there I don't think I sat down one time. I ate pizza while walking around the table monitoring everyone.....I had a flashback to my days as a teacher. We had three trips to the bathroom, 2 trips to refill drinks, one homework assignment to complete and check, 2 instances of an escaped toddler, one poopy diaper (and no changing table in the restroom), one poked eye (from an unruly umbrella), and one pair of torn pink ballet tights....but most importantly, two smiling faces covered in pizza sauce that gave me a hug and said "thank you momma!"
September 20, 2007 (part 2)
OK, Its 4:00pm and I've been up for over 13 hours now, since 2:30am, and I still have several more hours to go, several more crying spells of any given child, another meal to prepare, 3 baths to give, several more fights to break up, several more "I'm not going to listen to momma" episodes, several more diapers to change, and many more boring books to read.....I swear I think I may fall completely comatose if I have to read Thomas's Cranky Day one more time. And if Camryn requests a game of Candy Land we all might be in big trouble....nothing makes me more sleepy than Candy Land.
Luckily there was no time for naps today....even though its made for a long, grumpy day, everyone should be fast asleep very early!
Hurry up bedtime...momma needs some sleep!
Luckily there was no time for naps today....even though its made for a long, grumpy day, everyone should be fast asleep very early!
Hurry up bedtime...momma needs some sleep!
September 20, 2007
Last night we went to church, we got home around 8:45. Camryn fell asleep in the car so I carried her to my bed. Dylan was wide awake and wanting to talk about everything he did in his "big boy class", and Courtlyn was hungry. So we all got in my bed and I talked to Dylan while feeding Courtlyn....then we all passed out sometime before 10:00. I woke up at 2:30am because Courtlyn was hungry again. I walked to the kitchen to heat up a bottle and quickly realized I was not going back to bed. Since I fell asleep with the kids I had not gotten anything done. I still needed to unload the car and bags, empty the dishwasher and reload it, make bottles, make a pitcher of juice, wash and iron Camryn's school uniforms, put away the laundry that was already sitting in the dryer, clean up toys in the living room, and gather noodles and nickels for "N" day at school. So here I am at 5:45am waiting for the boiled water to cool off so I can make the last few bottles. The kids will be up in about an hour. There's not much point in trying to go back to sleep, I might as well stay up at this point.
I have a mom's meeting at school tomorrow (today) to plan the kindergarten field trip and Thanksgiving feast, I need to pick up a prescription for Courtlyn (she has thrush), I need to go to the grocery store....we have no milk (I bought some tonight but it sat in the hot car until 3am so I'm thinking that its trash now), and I need to buy Camryn some jeans so she can wear them to school Friday....all of this with three kids in tow, and having been up since 2:30am.
Its going to be a LONG day.
I have a mom's meeting at school tomorrow (today) to plan the kindergarten field trip and Thanksgiving feast, I need to pick up a prescription for Courtlyn (she has thrush), I need to go to the grocery store....we have no milk (I bought some tonight but it sat in the hot car until 3am so I'm thinking that its trash now), and I need to buy Camryn some jeans so she can wear them to school Friday....all of this with three kids in tow, and having been up since 2:30am.
Its going to be a LONG day.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
September 19, 2007
I was informed yesterday that the man who hit Joe pled guilty and will face sentencing in a couple of weeks. Not surprisingly, he has chosen to be sentenced by the judge, rather than by a jury. However, he will appear in court and I'll be there and will be given the opporunity to give an impact statement. I'm supposed to write a paper that lets him know how his actions have and will effect our lives. I get to read it to him and he is unable to respond to what I say.
I sat down last night to write my statement. Where do I begin? How do I sum up our huge loss in a 5 minute speech? No matter what I say he will never fully understand our loss, or what its doing to the lives of me and my children.
Oh, by the way Nemo is alive! He hid out in his little light house for about 12 hours and then decided to come out. So no fish funeral needed, yet.
I sat down last night to write my statement. Where do I begin? How do I sum up our huge loss in a 5 minute speech? No matter what I say he will never fully understand our loss, or what its doing to the lives of me and my children.
Oh, by the way Nemo is alive! He hid out in his little light house for about 12 hours and then decided to come out. So no fish funeral needed, yet.
September 18, 2007
Its 2:45am and I just walked over by our fish tank and realized its been a while since we've fed him. "A while" means that its been so long that I don't remember. So I turned his light on, tapped on the glass, and put some food in. No sign of little Nemo. He's in his little ceramic light house. So I start frantically shaking the aquarium...still no Nemo. What the hell am I supposed to do with a dead fish. Fish that are alive are nasty enough....but a DEAD one, what am I supposed to do with that? This is when Joe is supposed to walk in and dispose of it. Not me. And what about the kids? Camryn is already turning in prayer requests at school for my childhood dogs, Rags and Jo-Jo. One who died and one who ran away. How is she going to react to her very own pet dying? She reminds me daily that Nemo is her first pet, and how special he is to her. How am I supposed to explain to her that momma killed him? Oh, wait....it is her pet. I can totally avoid blame for this. She was the one who was supposed to feed him afterall, right? So what if she can't reach it without my help. She is 5 years old now....she needs to take some responsibility. This is totally NOT my fault.
September 14, 2007
I always gave Joe a hard time about spending too much money and not having any savings. His response was always "well, I can't take it with me, I might as well enjoy it now" He was right he couldn't take it with him, but he sure the hell could have left it here with us!
My checking account balance is currently more than $300 overdrawn. I have NEVER had this happen before in my life. I have had to really worry about money since I was about 22 years old. If I needed money, it was there. If I just wanted money it was there. When I quit working in 2005 Joe started giving me $5,000 a month to pay bills and anything else we needed. I didn't even pay all the bills....he paid for a lot of them through his business. I only paid about $2,500 worth of bills and the rest was spent on groceries and anything else I wanted. And still if I needed more, he would have covered it. Now I'm supporting three kids and paying all the bills on about 1/2 that amount.
Today Dylan needed to go to the doctor and when we got in the car my gas light came on. I had no money and seeing that I have a negative balance, I couldn't use my debit card. I started crying because I knew we didn't have enough gas to get to Shreveport and back. Dylan went and got his piggy bank for me. I started crying more. I gave him his bank back, went to Joe's closet and found $5 in quarters. We went to the doctor and got gas on our way home. I haven't gotten $5 in gas since the early 90s. It doesn't go very far anymore snce gas is so expensive. My gas light was still on, but it did get us home. Hopefully tomorrow our social security check will have gone through and I'll have access to some money. But the car note and house note are both late, so I have a feeling we'll be in the same situation this month.
Next week I'm canceling call waiting and caller ID, and I might even cancel internet service. I'm trying to think of anything to save a few dollars. A few days ago Camryn brought home a t-shirt order form from school for a t-shirt they can wear to school on designated days. I couldn't order one. Today was jean day for her and she doesn't have any jeans. And I couldn't just go buy her a pair. She's going to have to wait until I can save up enough money to buy her a pair.
I can not believe this is how life is going to be from now on. Such a drastic change from where we were a year ago. If Joe can see us, I know his heart is breaking. He would have never wanted us to have to live like this. He prided himself on being able to provide us with nice things, with anything we wanted. And now here we are at a point where I don't even know how I'll pay for baby formula each week.
My checking account balance is currently more than $300 overdrawn. I have NEVER had this happen before in my life. I have had to really worry about money since I was about 22 years old. If I needed money, it was there. If I just wanted money it was there. When I quit working in 2005 Joe started giving me $5,000 a month to pay bills and anything else we needed. I didn't even pay all the bills....he paid for a lot of them through his business. I only paid about $2,500 worth of bills and the rest was spent on groceries and anything else I wanted. And still if I needed more, he would have covered it. Now I'm supporting three kids and paying all the bills on about 1/2 that amount.
Today Dylan needed to go to the doctor and when we got in the car my gas light came on. I had no money and seeing that I have a negative balance, I couldn't use my debit card. I started crying because I knew we didn't have enough gas to get to Shreveport and back. Dylan went and got his piggy bank for me. I started crying more. I gave him his bank back, went to Joe's closet and found $5 in quarters. We went to the doctor and got gas on our way home. I haven't gotten $5 in gas since the early 90s. It doesn't go very far anymore snce gas is so expensive. My gas light was still on, but it did get us home. Hopefully tomorrow our social security check will have gone through and I'll have access to some money. But the car note and house note are both late, so I have a feeling we'll be in the same situation this month.
Next week I'm canceling call waiting and caller ID, and I might even cancel internet service. I'm trying to think of anything to save a few dollars. A few days ago Camryn brought home a t-shirt order form from school for a t-shirt they can wear to school on designated days. I couldn't order one. Today was jean day for her and she doesn't have any jeans. And I couldn't just go buy her a pair. She's going to have to wait until I can save up enough money to buy her a pair.
I can not believe this is how life is going to be from now on. Such a drastic change from where we were a year ago. If Joe can see us, I know his heart is breaking. He would have never wanted us to have to live like this. He prided himself on being able to provide us with nice things, with anything we wanted. And now here we are at a point where I don't even know how I'll pay for baby formula each week.
September 12, 2007
I'm banning Rice Krispies from my house. I will never buy them or eat them again. Why? Because of their commercials. NOTHING could make me feel like a worse mother than those damn commercials. If I didn't already have kids I swear I would want them when I see those commercials. But I know now that its not really like that in real life....all peaceful, calm, and clean. Like I reallly have a chance to sit with my kids and listen quietly to the rice krispies snap, krackle, and pop, or watch the milk turn chocolate. And if I did find a few minutes to do that we wouldn't be able to hear it anyway because of all the noise that comes along with kids. And by some chance if it was quiet and I had 5 minutes to sit with them, you can bet my counters and table wouldn't be clean.
September 10, 2007
We started soccer this weekend. Tonight was Camryn's second practice. As we were driving there tonight all the memories came flooding back from last year. Joe went to every practice and game with us. We would ride in his truck and when we got there he would put Camryn on the edge of his tool box in the bed of his truck and put her shin guards and cleats on. He would push them both in the wagon or I would push Dylan and Camryn would ride on his shoulders. He helped coach her team. After just about every game we would go driving around looking for a house or property. He loved every minute of it. It was something he could finally do with Camryn that they both really enjoyed.
I hate that he's not here to see how much better she's gotten in the past year. Or how she knew exactly what to do. And how she would kick the ball into the goal. I hate that he's wasn't here to roll his eyes when at Saturday's practice it was her turn to kick the ball and she just stopped....and told the coach so seriously that it felt like the desert out there and that she wished it was snowing. Or that he can't be here to see her and Dylan climb the dirt "mountain" (as they call it) that is as high as our roof, and come running down the other side.
Its been almost a year since he died. So the memories from this time last year are the ones freshest in my mind. Out of all the holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc that I've had to face, none of them compare to facing the next two months of memories.
I hate that he's not here to see how much better she's gotten in the past year. Or how she knew exactly what to do. And how she would kick the ball into the goal. I hate that he's wasn't here to roll his eyes when at Saturday's practice it was her turn to kick the ball and she just stopped....and told the coach so seriously that it felt like the desert out there and that she wished it was snowing. Or that he can't be here to see her and Dylan climb the dirt "mountain" (as they call it) that is as high as our roof, and come running down the other side.
Its been almost a year since he died. So the memories from this time last year are the ones freshest in my mind. Out of all the holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc that I've had to face, none of them compare to facing the next two months of memories.
September 9, 2007
Yep, today was my birthday. 33 years old. It's the first time in my life I've actually felt older than I am.
Last night we went to the boardwalk with my parents. Ate dinner and let the kids go shopping for a present for me. I got pink Nike flip-flops and a pink shirt....can you tell Camryn was the one picking things out? They were perfect gifts though....things I'll actually get some use out of.
Today we went to church. I dressed the girls in matching dresses and even took the time to pick out a coordinating green polo for Dylan to wear. We were walking out the door when I looked down at Dylan and saw that he had chocolate milk all over his shirt. I got him a new shirt and then noticed it was all over his khaki shorts too....and even on his socks! And all over the carpet too. Apparently he decided to spit out every drink he took. So I had to change every piece of clothing he had on. In all the chaos I totally forgot it was even my birthday. Several people at church knew somehow though...I even got a couple of cards.
So we came home and I felt like shit from this cold I have. And Courtlyn still doesn't feel good either. So her and I laid down for a little while. When I got up I looked around at this house and decided I couldn't take it anymore. I made the kids lunch and started yelling that I was going to get rid of all the damn toys in the house. I think I even yelled the phrase "happy damn birthday to me" So the kids sat in their chairs staring at me while I had a breakdown and started bagging up their toys. When they finished their lunch I had them start helping me. We bagged up 5 lawn bags full of toys....no more Dora house (and the 100 pieces that go with it), no more Little People (and the 800 pieces with it), no more play kitchen (and food/dishes with it), no more playhouse tent, and a whole lot more. Once I cleaned all that out I was able to rearrrange some other stuff, like plants from the funeral. Overall I ended up in a much better mood because it made such a difference in this house. Even Camryn was happy with it. Our house hasn't looked this clutter free since Joe died. I used to always go through toys and clean things out, but I haven't felt up to it in a long time. It was way over due. Maybe now Dylan will start actually playing with things rather than just dumping them on the floor, and moving on to something else.
About the time we were finishing up my neighbors showed up with a present and cupcakes. So after dinner the kids sang happy birthday to me as I brought them their cupcakes. I felt too sick to even eat one....but they enjoyed them anyway.
Then before baths we cleaned up more toys, while Courtlyn proceeded to see if she could actually make my head explode with her screaming. I think she was real close to succeeding when I finally realized she had a dirty diaper. Seriously, how can this be my third child and I not know to check a damn diaper.
I eventually got them all bathed and in bed. And now its 10:30pm and I'm going to clean the bathrooms and do laundry. Happy damn birthday to me.
Last night we went to the boardwalk with my parents. Ate dinner and let the kids go shopping for a present for me. I got pink Nike flip-flops and a pink shirt....can you tell Camryn was the one picking things out? They were perfect gifts though....things I'll actually get some use out of.
Today we went to church. I dressed the girls in matching dresses and even took the time to pick out a coordinating green polo for Dylan to wear. We were walking out the door when I looked down at Dylan and saw that he had chocolate milk all over his shirt. I got him a new shirt and then noticed it was all over his khaki shorts too....and even on his socks! And all over the carpet too. Apparently he decided to spit out every drink he took. So I had to change every piece of clothing he had on. In all the chaos I totally forgot it was even my birthday. Several people at church knew somehow though...I even got a couple of cards.
So we came home and I felt like shit from this cold I have. And Courtlyn still doesn't feel good either. So her and I laid down for a little while. When I got up I looked around at this house and decided I couldn't take it anymore. I made the kids lunch and started yelling that I was going to get rid of all the damn toys in the house. I think I even yelled the phrase "happy damn birthday to me" So the kids sat in their chairs staring at me while I had a breakdown and started bagging up their toys. When they finished their lunch I had them start helping me. We bagged up 5 lawn bags full of toys....no more Dora house (and the 100 pieces that go with it), no more Little People (and the 800 pieces with it), no more play kitchen (and food/dishes with it), no more playhouse tent, and a whole lot more. Once I cleaned all that out I was able to rearrrange some other stuff, like plants from the funeral. Overall I ended up in a much better mood because it made such a difference in this house. Even Camryn was happy with it. Our house hasn't looked this clutter free since Joe died. I used to always go through toys and clean things out, but I haven't felt up to it in a long time. It was way over due. Maybe now Dylan will start actually playing with things rather than just dumping them on the floor, and moving on to something else.
About the time we were finishing up my neighbors showed up with a present and cupcakes. So after dinner the kids sang happy birthday to me as I brought them their cupcakes. I felt too sick to even eat one....but they enjoyed them anyway.
Then before baths we cleaned up more toys, while Courtlyn proceeded to see if she could actually make my head explode with her screaming. I think she was real close to succeeding when I finally realized she had a dirty diaper. Seriously, how can this be my third child and I not know to check a damn diaper.
I eventually got them all bathed and in bed. And now its 10:30pm and I'm going to clean the bathrooms and do laundry. Happy damn birthday to me.
September 7, 2007
Camryn didn't go to school today. We went to the doctor instead....all 3 kids are sick. I thought I would check her in after our appointment, but when I told her that she said "momma, I'm sick. You can't take me to school." And she was right. She has strep throat. She got a shot, which was a pure nightmare....kicking, screaming, hitting, etc. Dylan and and Courtlyn don't have strep, not yet anyway. But though do have bad coughs and a lot of congestion. So they are both on prescription decongesants and antibiotics. And I'm still giving Camryn Tylenol and Motrin to keep her fever down. So between the three of them I'll be giving out about 16 doses of medicine per day. If I keep it all straight and don't overdose someone it will be a miracle.
We also had a hearing test done on Camryn this afternoon. I mentioned to the doctor at Camryn's 5 year checkup that she seems to not hear a lot of things I say, so we went on and had it tested. So I loaded up all three sick kids this afternoon and headed to the audiology center. Dylan fell sound asleep on the way and I couldn't wake him up. So I had to carry all 34 pounds of him in one arm while I carried Courtlyn in her car seat in the other arm (she weighs 15 pounds without the carseat being added in) and a diaper bag too. We get in the office and Dylan still won't wake up. Then Courtlyn got pissed off in her carseat and started screaming so I was trying to bend over and get her out while still holding him. By the time I got her unbuckled he woke up crying. So I had both of them crying, and wanting to be held. Camryn was saved from the situation because right that moment they called her back by herself for her test. I was so wishing I would be the one called back alone.
To top it all off I'm not coming down with something too. My head is pounding, my eyes are burning, and my ears are killing me. So before we went to the audiologist I rummaged through the medicine cabinet to find something to take. All I could find was benadryl so I took 2. Not a good decision. By the time we were leaving the appointment I could barely hold my eyes open. So we somehow made it home and all I could manage to do was get the baby out of her carseat and take her to the bed with me. I collapsed and slept for two hours. Of course when I woke up the house was destroyed. Camryn and Dylan had pulled out just about everything possible. They even brought in bags full of toys that were in the garage. And there were candy wrappers everywhere. I quickly made them a sandwich, dispensed medicine, gave them a bath, and put them to bed. Now I get to stay up and clean up their mess.
oh, and Camryn's official diagnosis from the audiologist? She's five years old....apparently 5 year olds have selective hearing, and mine has chosen to not listen to her mother. Her hearing is fine.
We also had a hearing test done on Camryn this afternoon. I mentioned to the doctor at Camryn's 5 year checkup that she seems to not hear a lot of things I say, so we went on and had it tested. So I loaded up all three sick kids this afternoon and headed to the audiology center. Dylan fell sound asleep on the way and I couldn't wake him up. So I had to carry all 34 pounds of him in one arm while I carried Courtlyn in her car seat in the other arm (she weighs 15 pounds without the carseat being added in) and a diaper bag too. We get in the office and Dylan still won't wake up. Then Courtlyn got pissed off in her carseat and started screaming so I was trying to bend over and get her out while still holding him. By the time I got her unbuckled he woke up crying. So I had both of them crying, and wanting to be held. Camryn was saved from the situation because right that moment they called her back by herself for her test. I was so wishing I would be the one called back alone.
To top it all off I'm not coming down with something too. My head is pounding, my eyes are burning, and my ears are killing me. So before we went to the audiologist I rummaged through the medicine cabinet to find something to take. All I could find was benadryl so I took 2. Not a good decision. By the time we were leaving the appointment I could barely hold my eyes open. So we somehow made it home and all I could manage to do was get the baby out of her carseat and take her to the bed with me. I collapsed and slept for two hours. Of course when I woke up the house was destroyed. Camryn and Dylan had pulled out just about everything possible. They even brought in bags full of toys that were in the garage. And there were candy wrappers everywhere. I quickly made them a sandwich, dispensed medicine, gave them a bath, and put them to bed. Now I get to stay up and clean up their mess.
oh, and Camryn's official diagnosis from the audiologist? She's five years old....apparently 5 year olds have selective hearing, and mine has chosen to not listen to her mother. Her hearing is fine.
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