September 28, 2007

Today I picked Camryn up from school at 12:00 just like every other day. We went to the office to see if her absensce will be excused next week for the sentencing hearing. It will. Of course as soon as I told the office ladies the story I received those blank stares of sympathy that I'm starting to get used.

We left school and headed for the park, going in the opposite direction we go every other day. Its the first time we've gone to this particular park and I was surprising Camryn. I had packed lunches and brought her a change of clothes/shoes without her knowing. As I'm slowing down to turn onto the road leading into the park. Camryn realizes that we're not going home....and that we're going to the park. About the time she starts yelling with excitement, I hear a crash and we go barrelling over a huge curb and are heading down a hill. I jerk the steering wheel back, go back over the curb, which made me lose control of the car. At that point the car jerked into the other curb. Camryn and Courtlyn were screaming hysterically. I stopped the car and jumped out to check on Camryn. She said she hit her head, but I was able to calm her down. Courtlyn on the other hand was still hysterical. So I got back in the car, shaking so bad I could hardly drive, and slowly drove down the road to the parking lot of the park. Camryn and Dylan were OK at that point and were ready to jump out and go play. Courtlyn was still crying though and I was freaking the hell out. I had absolutely NO idea what had happened. So I made the kids stay in the car while I got out to look at the car. I assumed that I would have a flat tire because of the way I went over the curb. No flat tire though. Then as I went around to check the other tire, I looked up and noticed that my rear end was no longer attached to the frame, and there were numerous dents and scratches. At that point I was really freaking out. I had no idea what to do. What was I going to say if I called someone. How stupid and incompetent would I sound when I told someone I don't know what happened....I just hit a curb and destroyed my whole rear end. As I'm sitting in the parking lot starting to panic and cry right along with Courtlyn, my phone rings. It was Mr. Gary from church. He asks what we're doing and I tell him I think I've just wrecked my car, but don't know how. He happened to only be about 2 minutes away, so he came right there. He took one look at the car and told me that someone had to have hit me. I was still looking to blame myself, so I was asking him if maybe I could have hit the stop sign when I lost control of the car, and thats what caused the damage. He was convinced though that someone hit me. About that time a lady drives up and says she saw the car who hit me. I could not believe it! She said she saw the whole thing and that just as I was starting to turn this car tried to swerve around me and hit me, pushing me into the curb....which explains why I lost control so badly. She followed the car that hit me and wrote down the license number. So I called the police. About an hour later as the cop was finishing up the paperwork, there was a call from the person who hit me.....reporting an accident. So the cop left to go see what their story was. Thats the last I heard. I guess next week I'll know more.

I just can't get over the fact that someone would hit us like that and drive off. I had three babies in the car that could have been seriously hurt, and this person just slams into us and leaves! It makes me sick everytime I think about it.

When we left the park Camryn said she was scared someone was going to hit us again. Then when she heard me tell someone we were in a "car accident" she freaked out because she relates that to Joe dying. Tonight as were laying in bed, we were talking about it and I was asking her if it scared her, and how lucky we were that we were all buckled in, etc. She said "ya know momma, it would have been OK if we had died, because we would get to see daddy, and Luigi, and Rags (my childhood pets). I just nodded and then she went to sleep. What I really wanted to do was scream at her "NO CAMRYN, IT IS NOT OK IF YOU DIE! I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT LOSE ONE OF MY BABIES! YOU HAVE GOT TO QUIT TALKING ABOUT DYING. YOU AND DYLAN AND COURTLYN CAN NOT LEAVE ME.....EVER!" Thats the reason I decided to keep my mouth shut, just smile and nod my head. Because I knew if I opened my mouth I would say something that would scare her to death.

That was our day. So now on top of everything else I have to do (go to the social security office, apply for WIC, write an impact statement, go to Tyler to read the statement, and MUCH, MUCH more) now I have to deal with more insurance companies, more claims, get the van fixed, etc. How much can one person possibly handle?

I am seriously reaching my breaking point here.