August 12, 2007

Tonight was a hard one for Camryn. After I put them to bed she kept coming out, and I just kept sending her back. Finally she came out crying saying that she couldn't sleep because of daddy. We haven't really talked about it much lately so I don't know what brought it about but she was crying hysterically.

We sat in her bed for a while and talked about it and she told me she wanted to take the picture of her and him out of her picture frame because it makes her too sad to look at it. I told her I would, but she ended up changing her mind when I told her that sometimes its good to look at pictures so we can remember the fun times with him.

She told me that it makes her sad that we're not a family anymore. I told her we were still a family, but she said that without him we're not. I tried to explain to her that the four of us are a family, we're just a different kind of family. And I told her that there are other kids that only have one parent, and kids that don't live with both parents. She seemed better knowing that. I don't know if something was said at church today about families, but something made her think that she didn't have a family. After we talked she asked me for a tissue, told me thank you, and went right to sleep.

I dread her going to school and seeing other dads, and hearing stories about daddies, etc. Its already hard enough at home. I've gotten rid of all of our books about dads and in a lot of books that I read to them I omit the word dad, or change it to mom. But once she goes out in the real world I won't be able to protect her anymore.