April 1, 2007

Last night I was going into the garage and when I opened the door a mouse scurried by! It was no bigger than a hamster, but scared me to death. So today I set out to trap it. I bought 8 glue traps and 4 spring loaded traps. They are set all over the garage. All I was thinking about was getting rid of it...what I didn't think about was what the hell I was going to do when it got caught in a trap. So tonight I start to go out to the car and I hear the damn thing squeaking, and its obvious by the sound that its trapped. I called several of Joe's friends, but no one answered. Now I won't go in the garage at all. So the mouse is just stuck in a trap, and appearently we're stuck in the house!

Its not like tonight wasn't bad enough. After the kids went to bed I began tackling the job of cleaning out Joe's closet. I don't want to, but I'm at the point where I have no choice. Our plans were to build a new house, with 4 bedrooms. But since he's gone I'm forced to stay in this 3 bedroom house. The new baby is already accumulating so much stuff, and since it doesn't have its own room, I don't have anywhere to put it all. I've been throwing a lot of it in Joe's closet, but its just been all over the floor and its gotten so bad that I can't even walk into it anymore. So tonight I started the process of cleaning it out to make room for all of baby's stuff, and getting it all organized. Of course I just sat in a heap of clothes in the middle of the bathroom floor and cried my eyes out. This is like admitting to myself that he's really not ever coming home....something I still don't want to accept.

Damn it! He NEEDS to come home. He needs to come home and give me a hug, play with the kids, let me sleep in, make pancakes for breakfast, take Camryn to school, take us out to eat, cut the grass, and kill the damn mouse!