I have 3 weeks to get ready for this baby. The crib is is still in the attic, and all of my baby gifts are still sitting in Joe's shop, still unopened. I have NO motivation to get anything ready. Plus, since the baby will be sharing a room with me I have to clean out my room before I have room to move in baby stuff. I'm just praying that he doesn't decide to arrive early!
I realized last week that I have started living in anticipation of dying. Anytime I'm cleaning I'm thinking about someone else coming to clean out my house when I die.....I wouldn't want my mother to come clean out my house and find dirty baseboards would I? And tonight I organized all my files and even made a special box for all of our accounts....retirement, investments, savings accounts, and life insurance policies....so it will be easy for someone to come in and figure everything out. I'm even attempting to pay off all my credit card debt, so when I die no one will have to deal with that, or talk about how I spent my money. It would be different if Joe was still here to take care of things when I die....he already knew everything about me anyway. But now I'm looking at the fact that it will be my parents, relatives, and friends cleaning up the mess I've made while here on earth. If nothing else I guess I want them to say....."wow, didn't she keep a clean, organized house!"
I really need to get a life!
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